SMack!

My Thoughts (3/4)
by Mistress Pamela

And of course, if you did find yourself responding, it isn't necessarily true that you "are" a Dominant or submissive; most people have some element of D/s in their nature. It does mean that it might be worth further exploration. You MAY discover a fascinating new world opening to you. Now Comes The Hard Part … What is it that makes a Dom or a sub thrill to their nature?
What is it that makes D/s so fulfilling, rewarding and fun? Well, let's start with what it isn't.
As I mentioned before, it is not about abusive; not really about sex, or the thrill of being "kinky". It isn't about the sub losing her identity, becoming a "doormat"; or the Dom getting her/his pleasure by making her/his lady whimper. The main component of D/s is an exchange of power. A submissive will, by her nature, have a desire to make herself subservient to her partner … but of course, a very special partner, one she feels great love, respect and trust for. In a D/s relationship, the submissive gains her most intense pleasure by pleasing her partner; she is driven to find new ways to gain the Doms praise, and perfect herself in areas where she feels she needs growth. Nothing makes her feel warmer and more loved than a whispered, "Good girl!" from her Dom. Quite simply, it makes her feel good to allow herself to be controlled, guided, and cherished … and the Dom, her counterpart, is naturally inclined, above all else in his life, to give her these "rewards". Again, it's terribly hard to explain to one who hasn't experienced it. The submissive, in giving up "herself" to her "Mistress/Master", is not giving up her identity, her sense of self; most subs will in fact become stronger, gain self-knowledge and self-esteem, in the process. The power she submits is returned to her; she becomes stronger and more free! (a paradox)
While "bottoming", the sub experiences a phenomenon known as "subspace", which has a very hypnotic quality; a bit like that of being deeply enthralled by powerful sensations, or like floating. She becomes mesmerized, confused; she may begin to giggle helplessly, or become practically unable to speak, or understand simple directions. She also becomes very much aroused! How does this happen? First, of course, there must be trust; a sub isn't likely to let herself go into this state in the presence of someone she isn't totally comfortable with! It is a total opening up, an exposure of her very psyche, her vulnerability. Once this level of trust is established, there are a number of ways for her to reach into this very special space inside herself; how it happens depends on the nature of the bond between Dom and sub. There are two very basic divisions in the physical aspects of D/s--those outward acts that one can actually observe: sensation (physical) and psychological. Sensation need not be painful; often it may involve simply being tied up (helplessness) and exposed to various sensations -- such as having a feather dragged over her skin, rubbing with a spiked bracelet over her flesh, drops of cold (or warm) water, etc.

Even pain is not usually "painful". A spanking, for example, is simply not experienced as pain if it is done properly; this involves a slow warm up, with the sub sinking into her subspace; the sensation is experienced as erotic, not painful. As a physical response to the pain stimulus, the body releases endorphins (a natural chemical that is 10 times stronger than that of morphine), allowing her to float away on a natural high! The other aspect of D/s "play" is the psychological.