Every community or group has rules and regulations. Not knowing or
disregarding them can lead to to negative reactions, quickly. Especially
play parties often have a strict set of rules.
There are some common rules you should know when you intend to visit a
play or fetish party. There are often special house regulations beside the
rules listed below and if you want to attend the party you will have to
live by these rules. The "Dungeon Master" / organizer and his helpers
will be gladly of help if you have any questions.
You should not hesitate to contact them also should there be a problem
with people not wanting to obey the rules. Inform them about the incident
as soon as possible so they can take appropriate steps.
- Always be respectful and tolerant if you attend such an event.
- Don't make any assumption and do not touch anyone. A sub or slave is
no public property. Hardly anyone will be happy to be touched by a
stranger without giving his/her permission..
- Don't touch or finger other people's whips, floggers, cuffs and toys.
The owner will not enjoy that, especially when he spend a lot of time to
clean or sterilize certain toys.
- Don't ever interrupt any ongoing scenes or plays. If you want to watch
you are usually welcome, but leave them enough room to act and move.
- Talking, laughing or commenting on an ongoing scene is considered
impolite and disturbing. Enjoy the scene quietly or go away if you don't
- Don't interfere with the players unless you are invited to join.
- Clean the place you used for playing afterwards, so other people can
use them. Don't occupy any bondage furniture you don't need (e.g. as
place to sit)
- Cigarettes and broken do NOT belong on the floor: it can always happen
that a slave will move over them on his knees a few minutes later.
- Respectful spectators are often welcome, voyeurs and plain
masturbators not. A play party is not a peep show..
- A code word/safe word means to put an immediate stop to a scene. That
means to stop for everyone with no exception.
- Any sexual activity involving unknown partners and the possible
exchange of body fluids (blood, semen etc.) has to be accompanied by the
use of condoms or rubber gloves. You will usually get them at the event
location, but its not a dumb idea to have some yourself.
- A closed room or Darkroom is a place for people who want to be alone.
Never enter such an occupied room unless you are expressly invited.
- Drugs and alcohol do not belong on such a party. They influence your
judgement on the situation and can be dangerous for you and your partner.
- Don't stare at people and do not follow from room to room. If you are
interested in someone, talk politely to the person and ask them. Most
will answer politely. But, and you must accept that under all
circumstances... no means no.
- Photo equipment like cameras etc. are usually forbidden.
- Cell phones do not belong on such an event and if you really expect an
urgent call, talk to the dungeon masters and they will help you to find
an appropriate solution.
- Professional Dommes are often welcome but usually as
"private" guests. Commercial activities often cause problems
due to laws or tax regulations and this might get the event and the
people who are responsible into trouble.
Ashtarot & maya
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Author: Ashtarot - 12.03.2000 / 23.04.2000
Info: © 2000 Ashtarot/BDSM Backroom
Keywords: SM/Fetish Playparty Etiquette