BDSM Backroom

ContentsPlayparty Etiquette

Every community or group has rules and regulations. Not knowing or disregarding them can lead to to negative reactions, quickly. Especially play parties often have a strict set of rules.
There are some common rules you should know when you intend to visit a play or fetish party. There are often special house regulations beside the rules listed below and if you want to attend the party you will have to live by these rules. The "Dungeon Master" / organizer and his helpers will be gladly of help if you have any questions.
You should not hesitate to contact them also should there be a problem with people not wanting to obey the rules. Inform them about the incident as soon as possible so they can take appropriate steps.

  • Always be respectful and tolerant if you attend such an event.
  • Don't make any assumption and do not touch anyone. A sub or slave is no public property. Hardly anyone will be happy to be touched by a stranger without giving his/her permission..
  • Don't touch or finger other people's whips, floggers, cuffs and toys. The owner will not enjoy that, especially when he spend a lot of time to clean or sterilize certain toys.
  • Don't ever interrupt any ongoing scenes or plays. If you want to watch you are usually welcome, but leave them enough room to act and move.
  • Talking, laughing or commenting on an ongoing scene is considered impolite and disturbing. Enjoy the scene quietly or go away if you don't like it.
  • Don't interfere with the players unless you are invited to join.
  • Clean the place you used for playing afterwards, so other people can use them. Don't occupy any bondage furniture you don't need (e.g. as place to sit)
  • Cigarettes and broken do NOT belong on the floor: it can always happen that a slave will move over them on his knees a few minutes later.
  • Respectful spectators are often welcome,  voyeurs and plain masturbators not. A play party is not a peep show..
  • A code word/safe word means to put an immediate stop to a scene. That means to stop for everyone with no exception.
  • Any sexual activity involving unknown partners and the possible exchange of body fluids (blood, semen etc.) has to be accompanied by the use of condoms or rubber gloves. You will usually get them at the event location, but its not a dumb idea to have some yourself.
  • A closed room or Darkroom is a place for people who want to be alone. Never enter such an occupied room unless you are expressly invited.
  • Drugs and alcohol do not belong on such a party. They influence your judgement on the situation and can be dangerous for you and your partner.
  • Don't stare at people and do not follow from room to room. If you are interested in someone, talk politely to the person and ask them. Most will answer politely. But, and you must accept that under all circumstances... no means no.
  • Photo equipment like cameras etc. are usually forbidden.
  • Cell phones do not belong on such an event and if you really expect an urgent call, talk to the dungeon masters and they will help you to find an appropriate solution.
  • Professional Dommes are often welcome but usually as "private" guests. Commercial activities often cause problems due to laws or tax regulations and this might get the event and the people who are responsible into trouble.

       Ashtarot & maya

[Thoughts, Questions, Feedback? - Visit our open BDSM Discussions Forum]

Author: Ashtarot - 12.03.2000 / 23.04.2000
Info: © 2000 Ashtarot/BDSM Backroom
Keywords: SM/Fetish Playparty Etiquette

Contents * New * Library * Forum * SMack * Contact * Sitemap * Help Back Top of Page